“Why Can’t I Just Move On?” The Lingering Effects of Trauma on the Brain and Body
"I should be over this by now."
If you've ever said those words to yourself—or heard them from someone else—you're not alone. It’s common to feel stuck, as if healing should happen quickly. But the reality is that these overwhelming experiences don’t follow a simple timeline.
Trauma has a way of lingering—not just in our memories but in our nervous systems.
The question, “Why can’t I just move on?” isn't about weakness or willpower. It’s about how these experiences rewire the brain and reshape our perception of ourselves and the world.
What Is Trauma, Really?
Trauma is any experience that overwhelms our capacity to cope (Peter Levine, PhD). It isn’t just the event itself—it’s an individual’s subjective experience of that event and its aftermath. It could be something that happened, or just as powerfully, something that didn’t. When there’s no support, no sense of safety, and no opportunity to process the experience, trauma is compounded and settles into the nervous system.
Sometimes it’s a single incident:
A car accident
A sexual assault
A traumatic labor and delivery
The sudden death of a loved one
Other times, it’s chronic:
Childhood abuse and neglect
Domestic violence
Chronic illness
Systemic trauma
(These are just some examples)
How Trauma Affects the Brain
Traumatic memories don’t feel like regular memories because they aren’t.
Unlike normal memories, these painful experiences are not digested and filed away neatly in the brain. They can get “stuck,” and resurface as sudden, overwhelming, and unwanted intrusions such as flashbacks, nightmares, and “emotional storms.”
When we experience a threat, the brain’s alarm system—the amygdala—activates. This sets off a stress response that floods the body with adrenaline and reflexively puts us in survival mode. At this moment, two important parts of the brain are automatically suppressed:
The prefrontal cortex, responsible for reasoning, decision-making, and language.
The hippocampus, responsible for organizing memory into time and words.
The result?
Fragmented and disorganized memories that may be hard to recall, but easy to feel. You may not remember what happened in detail, but your body does: A racing heart, a tight chest, nausea, a wave of shame or panic—these can be physical memories of a trauma (Levine, 1997 & Levine, 2010).
While the traumatic event may be in the past, it doesn’t feel like it’s in the past—it feels like it’s happening right now.
Your Body Remembers
Trauma is not just psychological—it’s physiological.
Long after the event has passed, your nervous system may continue to react as though you’re still in danger. Everyday sights, sounds, and smells can be triggers, reactivating body memories without warning (Buckley, 2021; Fisher, 2021; Levine, 2010; Levine, 1997).
This can look like hyperarousal:
Panic
Emotional overwhelm
Hypervigilance
Defensiveness
Anger
Racing thoughts
Feeling unsafe
Or hypoarousal:
Feeling numb or shut down
Dissociation
Fatigue
Shame
Difficulty saying “no”
Disconnection from self or others
These are not personality flaws—they are echoes of a nervous system stuck in survival mode.
Why You Can’t Just “Think Your Way Out”
For years, trauma treatment focused mainly on talking about what happened. While telling your story can be very important, retelling the story alone doesn’t always heal the trauma. In fact, for many, it can feel overwhelming and retraumatizing (Fisher, 2021).
Clients often ask:
“Why does it feel like it’s happening all over again?”
The answer: Because neurologically, in that moment, it is (Fisher, 2021).
What Healing Can Look Like
Healing from these deeply painful experiences is not about erasing the past—it’s about learning how to live in the present without being hijacked by it.
This involves:
Learning how to distinguish the past from the present
Learning how to soothe your nervous system
Rebuilding trust in your internal experience
Learning what safety feels like again
Feeling more empowered
Improving your sense of worth
Having choice and agency, feeling respected and impactful, and feeling supported in your experiences are all paramount in trauma therapy.
Treatments like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), an evidence-based approach, can help support you throughout this process (Kip et al, 2025). EMDR is unique in that it does not require that the details of the traumatic event be discussed in order to heal from it. It works by helping your brain reprocess traumatic memories in a way that reduces their emotional intensity, allowing you to integrate them in a more adaptive way.
You’re Not Broken—You’re Human
Trauma rewires the brain and body in ways that make sense for survival, but those same adaptations can feel like barriers to peace once the danger has passed.
If you’re struggling to move on, it’s not because you’re weak. It’s because your brain and body are trying to protect you from a threat it still thinks is happening. And while you are most definitely not responsible for the traumatic experiences in your life, you’ve been left with the task of managing the challenges that come with those experiences (Fisher, 2021).
I know this is unfair. And it’s not easy.
I also know that relief is possible, and you don’t have to do it alone.
You don’t have to “just get over it.”
You deserve to heal—gently, compassionately, and at your own pace.
If you’re interested in learning more about this approach, please contact me for a free consultation.
References
Buckley, T., & Punkanen, M. (2021). The sequelae of embodied trauma—Latest movie release as sensorimotor psychotherapy treatment metaphor. European Journal of Trauma & Dissociation, 5(3), Article 100170. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ejtd.2020.100170
Fisher, J. (2021). Transforming the living legacy of trauma: A workbook for survivors and therapists. PESI Publishing & Media.
Kip, A., Ritter, L., Hoppen, T. H., Papola, D., Ostuzzi, G., Barbui, C., & Morina, N. (2025). Psychological interventions for adult posstraumatic stress disorder: A systematic review of published meta-analyses. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 112: 103017. Open Access: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.janxdis.2025.103017
Levine, P. A. (2010). In an unspoken voice: How the body releases trauma and restores goodness. North Atlantic Books.
Levine, P. A. (1997). Waking the tiger: Healing trauma: The innate capacity to transform overwhelming experiences. North Atlantic Books.