How to Pick a Therapist That’s Right for You

This is by far one of the trickiest things to figure out when getting started in therapy. There are SO many therapists out there. Without knowing that much about them, how can you possibly know if you’ll feel comfortable sharing your most private and vulnerable experiences?

The truth is that you never know. This part involves taking a bit of a leap. But where do you even start?

Make a List of Candidates

The first step is to make a list of potential therapists. You can compile this list with information obtained from the following resources:

• Referrals from friends and professionals (i.e., primary care physician, pediatrician, guidance counselor, etc.)

• Your health insurance’s directory of in-network providers

• Specialized institutions’ directory of providers

  • PCIT.org for child behavior problems

  • ABCT.org for cognitive behavioral therapy

  • CHADD.org for ADHD

  • ISTSS.org for trauma

• Google Search

Consider These When Choosing a Therapist

1. Your reasons for seeking therapy. Reflect on your reasons for seeking treatment and look for a therapist with experience or expertise in this area. Here are just a few reasons why someone might seek therapy:

• Anxiety and depression

• Low self-esteem

• Coping with a loss (i.e., unemployment, break-up, infertility, miscarriage, death of a loved one)

• Wanting to better support a child during separation and divorce

• Needing support with a child’s defiance and aggression

• Relationship problems

• Wanting to better understand oneself

• Addiction

• Eating disorder

Connecting with someone that has expertise in the areas you are struggling with increases the likelihood that they will be able to provide effective treatment. You can learn more about a therapist’s professional experience and expertise by reading their website, online profiles, or asking them directly.

2. Accessibility. Do you want to attend in-person or virtual sessions? Many therapists are currently only providing virtual sessions. If you want to meet in-person, make sure to factor this into your decision. Additionally, consider whether the space is accessible to you (i.e., distance from your location, parking availability, elevators v. stairs, wheelchair ramps, etc.)

3. Cost. How will you finance treatment? Are you planning on using your employee or health insurance benefits? Do you have out-of-network benefits? Are you comfortable paying out-of-pocket? Not all therapists take health insurance or are considered in-network providers. This can affect how long you are able to attend.

4. Fit. Is this someone you will feel comfortable with? Research on psychotherapy tells us that a client’s relationship with their therapist is the biggest predictor of change. This is incredibly difficult to predict at the outset and it takes time to build that trusting relationship, so what do you do? Here are some thoughts. 

• Does your potential therapist’s profile or website communicate values that are aligned with yours?

• Ask your potential therapist if they offer a free consultation so you can ask your questions and see how it feels to speak with them.

• You can spend the first few sessions assessing fit. You are under no obligation to continue therapy with someone that you do not feel comfortable with. Some therapists won’t be a great match, and we get that. It’s OK to communicate this and/or look for another provider.

Therapy is wonderful and challenging. You deserve to work with someone that creates a warm and welcoming space for you while also gently challenging you and helping you grow.

Best of luck in your search!